Or if I have time, I hate the whole dressing room thing. I know someone in security is watching me as I try on clothes. I can see it all now. I grab a pair of jeans off the hanger. The security people elbow each other and say, "Oh, jeez, she can't think for one minute that she's gonna fit in those!" A small wager occurs between the two employees. As I step into the legs, the security peeps lean closer to their monitors. I slide the denim up over my hips. I imagine breaths are being held by the security team, anxiously waiting to see what transpires. I manage to button and zip the pants. Ha! Take that you doubting Thomas's (that just sprang to mind - I have no idea what the hell it means). Like a model, I turn from one side to the next to take a look.
Unfortunately, it's not a pretty sight. I turn an ear towards the ceiling. I think I hear the two idiots guffawing. Someone slaps their knee in hilarity. Money is exchanged. Now I'm ticked. As I yank off the offending jeans, a hot flash comes on. Sweat pours off me in buckets and I glance again at the ceiling - this time to make sure the sprinklers haven't gone off.
After repeating the above process more times than my brain can handle, my new MO is to take things home to try on. There in the privacy of my bedroom, with only my cat (Griffey) to observe, I try things on. Some are yesses and they get hung in my closet. Some are maybes that get shoved somewhere. And some are definite nos and go back in the bag.
What's the problem, you ask? I'll go months and months and months without returning the merchandise. Oh, I shop at the store in between those times, I just leave the returns at home. I'm able to do this because the store has a generous return policy.
Just the other day, I spent an hour (at least) gathering up returns and matching the receipts. I hauled the big bag to the customer service desk and dragged everything out. When all was said and done, I'm embarrassed to say my credit amount was almost $300! I have pledged to be better at this. I'll keep you updated...
Stop by for Fork It Up Fridays when I share an amazing appetizer that people will go crazy over.
And maybe next Tuesday I'll talk about my love/hate relationship (okay, it's actually a hate/hate relationship) with grocery shopping.
xoxo
4 comments:
I'm so freaked out right now. I may never try clothes on in a store again. :S
I'm so sorry. I'm sure it's just my paranoia! Years ago, I knew a cop who worked at a department store on the side. He said security people hid in those big columns that had mirrors on them. Creepy...
Jenna, I'm the same way! I bring everything home to try on. Not just because of the security people mocking me in the dressing room (as we all know they do) but also because I'm convinced the mirrors are adjusted in such a way to make the clothes look semi-decent on me in the store. I get them home and think, "What did I buy???" Better to try them on in the comfort of my home, with my truthful mirrors. Of course, because I never return the ones that don't fit, it is also a costly way of buying clothes. But, it's only money. Right??? Your buddy from the "bull pen days" at Toledo Hospital.. Sue
When Thomas the disciple didn't believe Jesus had really risen, Jesus made him put his fingers in the holes in his hands and sides to prove it to him: hence "doubting Thomas" :-) love you
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